Post by selena on Aug 13, 2012 17:02:54 GMT -5
| [atrb=border,0,true][atrb=style, width: 400px; height: 250px; overflow:auto; border-left: 10px solid #657f86; background: #FCFEF5; opacity: 0.8; border-top-right-radius:60px; border-bottom-left-radius:60px;] selena ray right  nineteen|| level 3 || eating disorder-delusional|| emily rudd|| female Are you a perfectionist, a person who always wants to be in control, an overachiever and/or do you think no matter what you do it is never enough? "Yes." Do you find that you seek or desire acceptance and/or approval from people, and/or that you have a hard time saying "no"? "Yes." Do you find that you are always questioning your own judgements and/or actions, and/or do you scrutinize yourself over small faults?" "Definitely." Do you think you are not good enough, stupid and/or worthless or that people are always judging you in a negative way? "Everyday." Do you hide your feelings and/or opinions from people for fear of being judged negatively, and/or do you feel like a burden to others with your problems? "Yes." Do you think life would be better and/or people would like you more if you were thin/thinner? "Yes." Do you continuously feel that you are overweight even though others have told you that you are not? "I feel huge. I look huge. I am huge and I hate myself." Do family members and/or friends often express concern for your weight-loss/gain, your appearance, and/or your eating habits? "Yes." Do you often feel numb or empty inside, like your life lacks fulfillment and happiness, like something is missing or there is a void inside? "I feel like I don't feel anything." Do you feel as though you have a "conscience" or "voice" that tells you negative things about yourself, convinces you that you do not deserve to eat and/or to be happy, or that tells you that you are or deserve to be fat and ugly? "Yes. I see the monsters too. I have a special gift. I can see the monsters and they can see me." Do you eat, self-starve or restrict, binge and/or purge, and/or compulsively exercise when you are feeling lonely, badly about yourself or about a situation, or when you are feeling emotional pressures? "Yes. I went down to under 60 pounds and died then came back to life. That's why I'm here." Do you drink a lot of water, tea or coffee, eat a lot of candy or junk food and/or gum, smoke, and/or take caffeine pills as an attempt to control appetite and/or feel more energetic? "Yes. Salt. Salt too. Lots of salt." Do you weigh yourself often and does the number on the scale dictate your mood and/or self-worth for the day; and/or do you find you are continuously trying to get that number lower? "I use to weigh myself somewhere between ten to fifteen times a day." Do you find that you bruise easily, have a very high tolerance for pain, and/or you are extremely noise sensitive (even only slightly loud noises irritate you). "I bruise easily and I'm noise sensitive. My tolerance is low." Can you tell us a little bit about yourself? Tell us the basics. Name? Age? "I'm Selena Ray Right and I'm nineteen years old." How many times have you been to the hospital? "I've been to the hospital for the night or a couple of nights for a few times. I've been in-patient six times and out patient once." Are you graduated? "No." I heard you had a child? "I had a miscarriage." When did your eating disorder start? "When I was a child." "I think my daughter is at level three because she was at a dangerously low weight and had a near-death-experience. Meaning, she died and came back to life. Her delusions are out of control. Selena often woke up in a frenzy that there was something in the closet, under the bed, in the house and everything. We told her she was too old for this. That there was nothing there. After a while she started doing tasks for the things in her head. She'd have conversations with them. This started when she was five years old. We thought they were imaginary friends. She resents treatment a lot. Selena will puke whenever she can. I don't think she has anorexia or bulimia anymore. I don't think it matters much to her anymore. I think anyway for her to loose weight will be fine with her." - selena's mother on selena. shadia|| fifteen|| seven/eight years|| yes |