the sound of silence - open thread

[Lilliana M. Lowell]

LILLIANA MENELLI LOWELL

No change, I can't change, but I'm here in my mold
But I'm a million different people from one day to the next

Group therapy; what was the point of it all? Nothing, really. At least Lilliana thought so. All group therapy was to her was a group of people who sat around in a circle; seeing it as fit that everyone had a chance to look at each other; as if, that would help the situation any better.

All it was was that group of people droning each other to boredom and sleep about their sob stories of how they got to White Springs. What was the point of group therapy, you ask? Nothing. It was pointless. Just a chance for people to get that spotlight of pity. Pity disgusted Lily. She never pitied a person in her life nor did she ever want pity to be given to her. Sympathy and empathy were just about on the same level as pity was. She didn't need any of that.

So why was she in here? Not to dwell on her problems, not for depression, there definitely wasn't any slash marks on her wrists...Sure there were scars all over her body. Scars from picking at her scabs and making them bleed ten times over. And then clawing at her skin when she used to think that she was being eaten alive. Yeah, that's as far as self-harm she ever got. It wasn't necessarily intentional of her to do so. She had no choice. It really felt like she was being eaten alive. And she only did what she could do best, was to scratch away that feeling. Even if it meant that there would be her own blood hidden beneath her fingernails. As long as the feeling was gone.

But those markings; those scars were four years old. They weren't new. She wasn't a self-harm patient. She definitely didn't have an eating disorder. Nope, she would eat the meal she was given to. Sure, sometimes her medication would make her bloated and whatnot, but she would never skip a meal if she was hungry. And it definitely wasn't because of her poor-self image of herself of being too fat or too skinny.

She had plenty of scars on her body; that long jagged and deep scar that hugged her neck down to in between her breasts and stopping at her belly button. That was a given scar that anyone could notice. Or those fading bald spots on her head from yanking her hair out when she was younger. Those scabs finally healed, nothing more of it.

She wasn't in here for anger issues. She knew how to ventilate her problems when necessary. She wasn't in the need of a quick fix for drugs either.

Going around the circle to introduce themselves; for each newcomer to come through, everyone was required to introduce themselves, say three good facts about themselves, and three things they would like to work on. And admit their problem or as to what they are documented under as to why they're here at White Springs. It was always that kind of introduction. So much, the same, that if you were there longer, you had to work on coming up with new goals and facts to say about yourself to not killing yourself due to repetition and boredom.

It was that torturous.

The woman next to Lilliana had just finished with her introduction about as to why she had been at White Springs and the six requirements needed. It was Lilliana's turn. Crossing and uncrossing her leg uncomfortably, Lilliana sat up straight into her chair. To say that she was uncomfortable was an understatement.

If they ever wanted people to be comfortable with each other and themselves, couldn't the staff get more cushioned chairs to sit in for a long period of time rather than these plastic chairs?

"Hi." Lily stated monotonically. "My name is Lilliana Lowell." she felt as if she were one of those drug rehabilitation facility commercials. Where everyone had to stand up at the podium in front of an audience where they had to introduce their problem when they were ready. Oh, wait, she was at one of those places. Except not so much the spotlight. She was obligated and forced to do this. She got so used to doing such things ever since she could remember.

If anything, this was just an automated, repeated, and recorded statement to her.

"And I'm a schizophrenic." she paused as she looked at the therapist. Sighing, knowing that they wouldn't move on to the next person until she finished her introduction the right way." She stood up. Just like the rest did as well. Giving a small wave and a sarcastic and prose smile as she continued.

"I'm also hypersexual." she said, smirking. "For those of you who are not vocabulary-savvy, I am a person who hears voices and hallucinates who has an unusual and highly addictive sex drive." she concluded.

Sitting back down, she thought of three facts she could say about herself and then to think of three things she should work on. Nothing extreme came to mind. Only something to please the therapist.

"I grew up here in White Springs." one fact. "I left White Springs around 10 months ago for 9 months, only to return and wind up back at this dump." two facts. "And I like sex, so if you need to blow off some steam you-" Lily was interrupted by the clearing of a throat sound by the therapist.

Smiling this time, with a bright one that reach both eyes, Lily laughed to herself. She was getting a kick out of this. "I have nothing to work on except to limit myself from practicing the way of making babies. And to relieve myself of my little friends in my head." she shrugged. This was nothing to her. It was one of her main goals to rid of her schizophrenia, but having to say it so many times in group therapy, meant nothing to her.

They were just words. "That's me in a nutshell." she concluded as the rest of the group quietly applauded as the therapist led the applaud. It was a required and respectful appraisal for people to do such a thing. To encourage people to be out of their shells and admit their problems. And then there were those who denied their problems; saying they didn't belong at White Springs with these nut cases. Those kind of people amused Lilliana. she didn't need more people here. She didn't need to be here either. But the rest of the society agreed to disagree with Lily, as always.


I need to hear some sounds that recognize the pain in me
I let the melody shine, let it cleanse my mind, I feel free now

[Leo James Storm]

Leo couldn't help himself from laughing at the girl who had spoken before him. This was probably the most fun he'd had at a group therapy meeting ever. His eyes switched from looking at Lilliana and the therapist, he didn't look too happy with how she was talking about her diseases. Leo thought it was great to see that she was standing out on a limb. He clapped shortly after the therapist lead the applause.

Leo's smile stayed on his face when he sat up a little straighter in his chair and cleared his throat so it wouldn't crack or anything. He remembered from past meetings the format he had to go about when he talked. These meetings were supposed to help get things off your chest. But Leo didn't know why they did that if they couldn't even name any negative things that they didn't like about their problem. What if the person with the problem didn't want to work on it?

At least by admitting the negatives you could get support and it would feel more like someone understands where you're coming from. Without them knowing how much something sucks, it doesn't leave the same effect with them. That's what Leo thought at least.

"Hey," he started off easily, "My name is Leo Storm." he felt strange talking to these people. It would've been better if the therapy was more like it was in movies. When you introduced yourself and your problem, and the rest of the group would reply in a monotone 'Hi Leo.' or something like that. It would amuse Leo. "And I'm a pathological liar." one true fact down... hopefully he would be able to spit out the rest of the introduction with true facts... sadly he couldn't get away too much in the therapy meetings.

He paused and decided to follow Lily's lead and explain his 'problem', "That means I lie all the time, and I may even believe my lies. So I can't exactly tell you if I'm lying." he rolled his eyes and crossed his arms loosely across his chest. His problem was a pain in the ass sometimes, but other times it was rather entertaining. Sometimes he'd forget was his own past was about, and he'd have to make something up to replace it. In other situations, he just felt safer to lie than to tell the truth.

"I'm not sure why I got in this place truly. I think my teachers and classmates were just getting really pissed off. But if you really want to know, ask my parents. They're the lovely ones who sent me here." He smiled sweetly around the circle. But what Leo didn't remember was the fact that he was sent to rehab because not only did his lies get worse when he was uncomfortable, he got rather violent. That's when his parents got concerned and sent him to rehab to hopefully train the behavior out of him.

He thought for a second. "Three good things about me... I'm funny. I'm really good at pissing people off." He took a glance at the therapist who shot him a sideways look of annoyance, "And then I'm really good at acting and making my performances believable. Though I've been told those are bad things. I think they would work well for me in certain situations." he shrugged, "Like what if I wanted to become an actor! I think I could do that really well."

"Three things I want to work on... well I guess I don't really have things I want to work on myself. But people tell me that I need to work on telling the truth. Believing my own history and things like that. The only thing I want to work on is to stop pissing off my friends that know that I lie a lot." he shrugged and ended his little speech. Leo looked at the therapist again and noticed that he wasn't exactly happy with Leo. Too bad for him then. Leo had always been difficult with the group therapy meetings. It was something to be loathed and nothing more.

Though that wouldn't get him out of it. Sadly.

Maybe this meeting wouldn't be too bad. Leo looked at Lilliana and chuckled again, she was amusing and he liked that. But the best part was that she was honest like most people in here aren't. They just say and do what they have to so they can get out. No one puts up a fight of their own... Leo always found that disappointing. But he couldn't change their opinions. He could only make them believe whatever lie he wanted them to believe.

[Lilliana M. Lowell]

LILLIANA MENELLI LOWELL

No change, I can't change, but I'm here in my mold
But I'm a million different people from one day to the next

Amused that the group introductions took a slightly different direction after her turn, Lilliana felt that group therapy wouldn't be so bad and boring after all.

"Hi Leo." Lilliana applauded in a even tone. She kept an eye on the therapist as she also let her gaze wander around the room.

It truly felt as if she was from another dimension sometimes. Most of the time, she would be staring at the wall or something and then her conscious mind would drift into another world. It was as if it split into millions of particles that went in every direction possible; experiencing, thinking about many things all at once; only to return and meet at said point and gather all the information found about that certain subject. That was when someone would snap Lilliana out of her daze and regain her concentration about the day.

Lily raised her hand as the therapist went on about talking about such introductions and what topics they were going to focus on today, her mind was elsewhere, but her subconscious mind and body behavior were completely separate from each other.

"I will answer your questions when I'm done talking, Lilliana." The therapist informed Lily.

Blinking once, and then twice. Lily tore her attention away from the floor and glanced at the therapist. "But it's not for you." she stated bluntly as her eyes adverted toward Leo. Smiling and uncrossing her legs, Lily turned her body so it would properly face Leo. Leaning forward, she smiled. "It's for Leo." she added. "So, you can continue talking all you want, but I just thought I shouldn't be rude and throw you off your train of thought by raising my hand." she paused. "I mean, that is what you tell us to do everyday. To let everyone have a chance to speak and say what's on our mind before we forget, right?" Lily inquired as she stole a glance from the therapist before she proceeded with her survey with Leo.

Before the therapist could have another say in anything, Lily took that opportunity to spill her mind out. "Leo," she began. "What's the biggest lie you ever told and how many times have you told it?" she asked, curiously. Leo; a pathological liar; a creative liar, if anything. She loved creative liars. Almost as much as she loved story-telling, but of course, to Lily, creative lies went hand in hand with story-telling. They were the same; none of it was true, just a messed up fictionalized fairy tale of some sort.

"Lilliana, I'm pretty sure Mr. Storm would want the spotlight shone on him at the moment. We can leave the commentary until later..." the therapist insisted as he flipped through his curriculum. They were going off course.

"I'm sure, Leo can speak for himself, Doc. And I want to hear it from him, if you don't mind?" Lily chuckled. "Even if you did mind, you know there is no winning with me."

That was true. Most of the days of group therapy, a lot of the therapists and staff had a hard time dealing with Lily. She mostly got her way with things due to how many obstacles and loop holes she found through an argument and ended up undermining their authority and proving them wrong. Thus, she had her way. It was a challenge, but she more than just managed. She loved to add spice to the therapies. It made her life a little less of a bore.


I need to hear some sounds that recognize the pain in me
I let the melody shine, let it cleanse my mind, I feel free now

[Leo James Storm]

Leo raised an eyebrow when Lily raised her hand in the middle of the therapists talking about what they'd be doing next. Like always Leo was spacing out and looking off into space, the only reason he was brought back to reality was seeing her hand shoot up into the air out of the corner of his eyes. This was proving to be a very interesting therapy meeting.

Then she went on about how she had a question for the blond boy. A questioning look appeared on his face and he sat up again after finding himself slouched down in the plastic uncomfortable chair again. Leo found himself hiding his laughter behind his hand when she twisted the therapists words around in her hand to work to her own advantage. Leo respected that, and he thought it was a fun skill to have.

Instead of sliding around in his chair the way Lily had, he made a big show of loudly twisting his chair to face Lily. He stole a side glance at the therapist and shrugged his shoulders with an amused smile and turned again to listen to Lily's question. Truthfully, her question caught him off guard. He had never been asked anything like that. He remembered getting tons of questions about different things, like what he remembered, and why he lied so much, but he was never asked curious questions like what the biggest lies hes ever told were... then how many times he's told it.

But then the therapist tried to get their discussion back on his schedule. But Leo stopped him, scooting his chair around to face him, "Hey this is the first time this has gotten interesting. I'm pretty sure this is what therapy groups need. Questions that keep people from falling asleep." he nodded towards a guy who was nodding off in his chair. "But if you really want to try and stop us by talking, I guess I'll just talk over you to answer Lily's question." Leo smiled sweetly and scooted loudly once again to face Lily again. And to prove a point, he started off answering her question by shouting but then slowly getting quieter, "Well, I guess one of my top ten biggest lies would be..." he had to think for a second. Picking a good one that would be entertaining to talk about. But of course, one that he would never be able to use again.

"This is kind of hard..." he frowned for a second before coming up with something, "When I was about thirteen I told people that I used to work in a circus in the trapeze act, and that to help train for that I had to go skydiving everyday. Then I told them that when the circus came to town they would see me in the performance. But since I knew that there was a kid in the trapeze that had blond hair like mine and was about my height and weight, that no one would be able to look past my lie. Till someone actually read the little program thing," he laughed, "Then they all got on my ass about it. But I had them all fooled for about half the school year. I told it to just about everyone I knew that lie."

He pressed his lips together in a tight smile and raised his eyebrows, remembering that it was the year that he was in love with the idea of being up in the air all the time. "I liked the circus as a kid." he smiled and nodded. No one really blamed him for lying like that though. No one held a grudge against him. They just thought he was immature and wanted attention, Leo got the cold shoulder for a little bit, but hard feelings ended and everything went back to normal, and he 'told the truth' to them about who he really was.

But truth be told, it wasn't his biggest lie. It was just one of his most successful... except the time when he convinced his history teacher that one of his ancestors had survived the Titanic sinking, and that he was also a grandson of a famous war hero. That history teacher never figured that one out. So Leo proceeded to tell Lily about that one too. Since it was a lie that his teacher never figured out about.

"My history teacher once thought that I was the grandson of a Titanic survivor and a famous war hero." he smiled with pride at his successful lie. "But I can't really think of any other really big lies at the moment."

A sly smile appeared on his lips as he decided to ask a question about her, "So your a sex addict right? If you don't mind me asking..." he stopped when he heard the coughing of the therapist. "How hard is it to live constantly wanting to make babies?" he would've asked something worse, but he would've gotten into much more trouble with the therapist than he probably was already in. He could feel the mans glare on his back as he attempted to continue talking.

[Lilliana M. Lowell]

LILLIANA MENELLI LOWELL

No change, I can't change, but I'm here in my mold
But I'm a million different people from one day to the next

Amused, Lilliana was in a daze with Leo's words. Not to the point where she was being fooled by his lies, but almost hypnotized of how creative he became with those lies. "A circus, eh?' Lily thought back to the last time she had gone to the circus. Almost shuddering, Lilliana ventured her mind back to reality to continue to listen to his story-telling.

"I actually met someone out of White Springs with the little 9 months that I had to the real world that they were majoring in gymnastics and minoring in the entertainment business to become a tight-rope walker. It never occurred to me that you had to go to school for such a thing. I always thought that was just a under the counter kind of talented job to have..." Lily trailed off. "But I don't think I would ever find myself in a circus. I'm not a big fan of them nor the clowns.." she paused, thinking back to how she was traumatized with a clown who shoved a balloon into her face and had that plastered smile on his face. She was maybe about six years old when that happen when she went with her parents, sister, and her cousin came along with her.

"Let's just say, we don't get along too well." she concluded. It was true. Lily ended up screaming at the clown who shoved the balloon in her face and talked to her in a weird and "goofy" voice. She had a hot dog stick in her hand at the time and popped the balloon in front of the clown. After being called a brat from the clown, both Lily and her cousin, Julian, teamed up against the clown and stomped on his big red shoes as they ran away. Julian was always there to protect his cousin; a few months apart they were, but he always acted as an older brother to her. He was the troublemaker of the entire family, and she was the closest to him, more closer than she was to her own siblings. So, it only made sense when the clown frightened Lily that Julian would step up to the plate and fight back against the clown.
They ended up being banned from that circus.

"Did they know Rose and Jack as well?" Lilliana joked as she listened to the titanic survivor story. Shaking her head, she just laughed. "It's amusing of how gullible people can really be." she added. As for Lily, it was hard for her to actually believe any lie, she would detect the most creative lies from a mile away, but in reality, she never really cared enough to sought after the truth. If they were lying, then there must have been a reason that they were lying; why pry the truth out of them for it then? She saw no point in doing that.

She stole a glance at the therapist and innocently smiled. "Don't worry, Doc, you'll get your turn. Don't let us disturb you from your strict schedule. Keep doin' your thang, you're doing great." Lily tuned in with a smirk. She then exchanged her attention back to Leo and shrugged.

"No matter what they do, I always get my sex." she stated. "One way or another, I will not name who of course, but seriously, it's like the black market; there is always a way to find something to relieve my so-called sex addiction." Lily informed Leo. "Honestly?" she paused as she spoke in the direction to not only Leo, but also the therapist and the rest of the members of the group. "Sex is a normal human behavior. It's something that should be embraced, not something that should be considered bad. I'm clean, it's not like I'm a walking STD spreading and infecting it to people. I know how to keep my shit down there clean. So, what harm am I really doing, doc? Why is hypersexuality supposedly something bad?" she inquired, letting the minds of the others wander.

"So, Mr. Storm, to answer your question..." Lily trailed off and smiled. To make her answer more appropriate for the group therapy, whether or not if it was true. "I find other alternatives that isn't necessarily considered to be 'making babies' activity. Life is a little dull without it, but if it's to get out of White Springs and to not risk the chance of possibly infesting this place with a lot of Lily babies.. Of course, it's entirely impossible for me to birth children anyway, as of yet. To reduce any worries or for White Springs to go haywire, I resort to other things. It's nerve wracking, but i guess, the build up, and being able to have it or have something related to it is really the best part of it all." she explained.

"Have you ever lied about things that were self-harming to you or reputation ruining for someone else?" she added to keep a balance between the two.

I need to hear some sounds that recognize the pain in me
I let the melody shine, let it cleanse my mind, I feel free now

[Leo James Storm]

Leo nodded at Lily's own circus story. And when she asked if his 'titanic surviving relatives' knew Jack and Rose he just laughed some more nodding his head in amusement. Leo liked Lily's way of making things funny and entertaining in her sarcastic tone. "Yeah it really is incredible." he knew that everyone who had actually believed some of his pretty insane and out there lies were pretty gullible. The reason that they never questioned some of the things he told them was pretty stupid too. Since most teachers or people were now warned before they met him that he lied a lot never questioned the truthfulness of his comments or stories he told.

"Yeah, sir. Keep on going honestly you don't have to supervise our conversation. I mean it's not like we're doing anything we aren't supposed to." Leo said looking over his shoulder at the therapist who seemed to be getting redder and madder by the minute. Leo found his expression rather amusing, it was a mix between rage and embarrassment that he was being showed up by two teenagers.

When she talked about how she was always able to get her sex Leo chuckled in response, he could see how that would work out. With a black-market kind of scene going through his head he almost missed what she said next. How it was a natural human thing and that she wasn't infecting people with STD's or anything. "I completely agree with you Lily. It's something completely normal that shouldn't be considered bad because everyone is going to do it at least once in their lifetime." under his breath he muttered, "If not once that's just kind of sad..." but then he spoke up again, "I think that as long as you aren't infecting people with those nasty diseases it really isn't a problem... why is it anyone else's business?"

Leo laughed again at her answer to his actual question. But then he quieted down when he heard that she wasn't able to have kids? Did he hear her correctly? Why wasn't she able to have her own baby Lily's? "You can't have kids?" he asked extremely curious, "And what do you mean resort to other things? What do you mean?" Leo highly doubted that any of this was going to be appropriate for the therapy session but he honestly didn't care. It wasn't like people weren't diagnosed with other diseases that would have inappropriate parts to talk about with people as well.

When she shot him a question back he responded without hesitation. "Of course... well what do you mean by 'self-harming to me'? But of course I've lied for people to keep their reputation intact. Normally I'll lie for anyone, but I prefer to know the person well, and as long as it's a reasonable lie. I'm not going to lie about a girl being mad at her friend and ruining her clothes with scissors. That was probably the stupidest thing someone has come to me with. Also, it's not really ruining a reputation. It's you getting what you had coming to you." he rolled his eyes. "I don't get girls sometimes. But you've gotta love 'em." he smiled sweetly.

He stole another quick glance at the therapist and Leo thought he was about to break his pen in half as he sat there fuming. Leo had to keep himself from laughing some more just at his sheer ridiculousness.

[Lilliana M. Lowell]

LILLIANA MENELLI LOWELL

No change, I can't change, but I'm here in my mold
But I'm a million different people from one day to the next

"no," lilliana began to clarify her question. "i meant like for example, say I lie about my father abusing me in the past, physically and going on a tangent about it, to make it sound believable. but the reason why i lied was because i didn't want them to know the real truth about what my father did like abusing me mentally and emotionally.." Lily trailed off. "Oh, by the way," she added. "that's not true. My father didn't abuse me...to an extent. But that's just an example." she explained.

"Or have you ever lied about saying like you're dying or something just to get out of a situation or leaving some kind of place to just disappear for whatever reason?" Lily had heard plenty of lies before, and the most extravagant ones too at that.

"Huh?" Lily was merely caught off guard when she was coming up with new interrogatory questions for Leo when he asked about children. She almost had forgotten she had said any of that. "Oh," she paused. Trying to think of way to explain this. "my stomach isn't capable of nurturing a child at the moment. or uterus, whatever you want to call it. I am healthy STD wise, but other complications with my body causes me to not be able to reproduce any time soon. The doctors say maybe if i calmed down with the sex, things could work out for me. but honestly i don't plan on having a child any time soon. especially, not in white springs. So, i don't plan on stopping sex any time soon. Maybe in the latter future." Lily explained.

Smiling, Lily brushed off the other question. "By other means.." she hushed her tone. "I'll tell you about it some other time." she stated. There was no need to exploit any names or secret ways of how she got the things she wanted. It was the way of knowing your loop holes out of the restricted rules in this place. Lily was a mastermind when it came to loop holes without actually breaking any rules and still getting her way.

But mentioning it in the presence of a doctor wasn't wise to do.



I need to hear some sounds that recognize the pain in me
I let the melody shine, let it cleanse my mind, I feel free now