Post by nala j. santos on Aug 23, 2012 22:04:12 GMT -5
| [atrb=border,0,true][atrb=style, width: 400px; height: 250px; overflow:auto; border-left: 10px solid #657f86; background: #FCFEF5; opacity: 0.8; border-top-right-radius:60px; border-bottom-left-radius:60px;] NALA JUDE SANTOS  eighteen || level one || IED/SI || isabelle mcnally || female nicknames: lala. orientation: bisexual age/dob: november forth member group: level one anything else?: she suffers from post-traumatic stress disorder. personality: if nala were an animal, she'd be a fox for sure. nice to look at, underestimated, but not stupid. never stupid. she always tried to be two steps ahead of anyone she's talking to, which leads to narcissism on her part. she can be a true manipulator when she wants, but for the most part she sits back and observes. she is far from obnoxious, and tries her best to stay in the background of things. unfortunately, due to her rage issues, she's easily irritated and on occasion she erupts into a fit of violent, blind rage. she's been known to throw punches and throw things, then not remembering what she did only moments after. in addition to her temper, nala also has a self esteem issue. as confident as she might appear, she secretly loathes herself. her low self esteem was partially why she started gravitating towards cocky guys, admiring what they had to offer her. these issues give her a reason to self harm, cutting being her method of choice. when she's in these moods of depression, she could care less about the feelings of others and will probably just shit inside of your heart if you give her the chance. really, she's a bitch. watch out. brief history: nala grew up in a pretty normal household, and was able to live a normal, happy childhood. she had always been smart and bubbly; one of those kids that could really light up a room. unfortunately, as the teenage years began to roll in, an age of rebellion was on the horizon. her parents were quite sure what to do with her. she dabbled with smoking cigarettes, began mouthing off, and generally just started hanging out with the wrong people. middle school years were hell, and when she entered her freshman year, mr. and mrs. santos were hoping that their troubled daughter would soon outgrow her psychotic stage. who knows, maybe she would have if she hadn't be taken advantage of. against the will of both her parents, nala began seeing a boy who was going into his senior year. they got into a lot of trouble together, and experimented with graffiti while sneaking out past the town's curfew for minors. after going home from a party one night, nala's drunk boyfriend pulled over to the side of the road and things began to take a turn for the worse. long story short, nala was physically battered and raped by someone who she trusted with her whole heart. the months following pushed her to the edge. her cutting escalated, and soon the episodes of rage began. at one point she battered her mother, inflicting a broken nose. for the past year she has been living in this rehab, trying to lie her way out. so far she's managed to get herself to level one, but she isn't sure how much longer she can keep up with this charade. roleplay sample: normalcy. something that was so far-fetched yet sought after by nearly everyone was never a part of ivy's world. she had her own version of normal, and it didn't meet the dictionary definition by any means. she was always slightly out of place, somewhat awkward in any situation. at least, that's how she felt mentally. and hey, sometimes her appearance warranted a few sideways looks from strangers but those things hardly bothered her. the dyke jokes after cutting her hair bounced right off of her. she once had long, flowing blonde hair. she had once been dainty and fragile. and to a point, she still was. she could never truthfully call herself strong like the person everyone thought she was. if she had been strong, she would never have given up lily. if she were strong, she would have made her mother get better, get out of bed, and helped her to start living again. instead, she became a dancer; one that tiptoed around the point and walked ever so carefully on eggshells and shards of glass. after years of playing charades, would she ever be able to pull off the mask and let someone see the raw, unhinged part of her? she had been vulnerable with gage, sure, but in the end after he pulled off his mask and called it quits with the games ivy had left without a word. she wasn't strong enough to handle that either. to some extent, she and beckett were similar. they both played pretend in a house of cards, hoping that their fortress would never fall. unfortunately, as they prepared for the big bad wolf of the outside world, the monsters inside of them were the ones that eventually broke them down. and that was why ivy felt so obligated to stay with him, even though he only used her for sex and alcohol. now beckett was vulnerable. she wanted so badly to cushion the blow of his mother's passing, to be his crutch. she wanted to be what she never had, and her desperate need to nurture would surely be dismissed as soon as he was strong enough to start talking. that's the way they both were. refusing help because all they knew was how to take care of themselves. despite the fact that ivy was forced into motherhood at such a young age, it paralleled to beckett's lack of a parental figure because they both never had the chance to rely on anyone else. she didn't know if she and beckett would ever become anything more than drunk fuck buddies, simply because she had been in a more promising relationship before and it went to shit. she didn't know if she could handle the loss of yet another person, let alone someone she identified so well with. coming out of a light sleep, she sat up suddenly and looked around. it was lighter than it had been before, and this time beckett was awake. awkwardly adjusting the way her hoodie was situated on her shoulders she tried to look at something else--anything else, anything that wasn't beckett's questioning expression. did she want to remind him of the disasters from the previous night? someone would fill him in at some point, and even if he didn't remember straight away he would eventually connect the dots and remember what sent him into a downward spiral. "i uh...uhm." she cleared her throat, standing up to walk over to the window that was near his bedside. she leaned against the cool wall, closing her eyes before reopening them and giving beckett an unreadable expression. after biting her lip she rubbed her hands on her face to wake herself up more before speaking again. "about last night..." she swallowed hard, not wanting to burden beckett with too many memories. "i'll just pretend like it never happened, ok?" she glanced at his heart monitor, which was quietly beeping and giving the signal that although beckett was subdued, he was pretty much back to normal. "i'll leave now if you want. i just wanted to make sure someone was here when you woke up." link || sixteen || 4+ years || yes, but i didn't see a secret word/phrase. |
