when i was a young warthog....

[thomas b. parker]

i t m e a n s NOWORRIES f o r t h e r e s t o f yo u r d a y s

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Thom strolled the grounds with the usual goofy expression plastered on his face. Not even a call from his stuffy older brother could ruin this day for him. The sun was shining! Nobody asked him to help them sneak in drugs! Life was proving to be quite awesome today! Especially since, the ladies all loved him 'cos he looks so fine! Today was also going to be the day that he was going to force his idea of reform to the facility's board! How could he not be feeling awesome with a day like this? Anything shy of awesome could be fatal! Well, perhaps not fatal, but it certainly wouldn't be Thom... It might be his alter ego, if he had one, that is, but it definitely wasn't him.

Thom found a seat on the edge of the fountain, looking down at his reflection. Suddenly he felt like watching Mulan. Was that weird? Of course not! He was going to make a man out of these maggots! Woah, Disney movie moment! When Thom was a boy, he wanted to be an actor on Disney Channel. Then again, who the hell didn't? He could've fucked Miley Cyrus, before she was already used! Hell! He could've had Selena Gomez! All the bitches would be lining up, just to earn a simple wave from him. He would have been an amazing Disney star. Like the Prince Harry, of Disney. That's what he would be. The scandalous one. Doo. doo. doooooo.... What? Who said that?! Buckbeak! Lousy hippogriffs, can never trust 'em! Even his internal acting was brilliant! Natural born actor right there!

Thom looked out into the distance dreamily. If he was back at home in Boston, he'd probably be waiting tables at his parents' restaurant, and doing his best to get Henrito Burrito out of the will, but everyone knew that wasn't going to happen. Damn that Henry! One day! He'd rue the day! Scrambling through his pockets, Thom located a shiny coin, tossing it into the fountain with several others alike it, wishing that he would finally become the dependable one among his brothers. Yeah... he should've used his quarter to wish for Kate Middleton to fall in love with him, or maybe magical powers, but if it was his name his Mum and Dad would call out every time they needed something, everything else would simply fall into place! Holla!

YOLO