Sick H E A R T S (Elyse/open)

[Jason L. Marshall]

[atrb=border,0,true][atrb=cellSpacing,0,true][atrb=cellPadding,0,true][atrb=width,500,true][atrb=background,http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v308/kickthecat/scenemid.png] [th][cs=3][rs=3][atrb=border,0,true][bg=000000] [ CALL ME A BOY TILL I'VE LEARNED,CALL ME THE BIRD OR THE WORM ] cause sick hearts do fine - - with wasting their time ( wasting time, wasting time) - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - So in a magical turn of events you actually can go outside. After Jace had realized this he had spent almost the whole day outside sitting alone under the shade. It was easily the best place in the who rehabilitation center. He hadn't visited the gardens yet, but only because he wasn't sure he was allowed to go. He didn't know if he counted as a 'good' patient or not. Yes, he didn't attack other people or try to drink bleach but as far as treatment was going, well, it wasn't any improvement.He didn't feel like a good patient as far as he was concerned. But the fountain really wasn't that bad at all. It made soothing running water sounds and reminded him of the one that was in his town park. Another big thing was that it was quiet. Maybe he was being oversensitive but it felt like everything was so loud indoors. He learned quickly that the library and the fountain were some of the quietest areas. No screaming patients or yelling doctors. No one really. Another thing that Jace learned that actually surprised him was that after all his people watching he had done over the past couple of days, the girls seemed more like boys and the boys like girls. To simplify it, the girls were boisterous while the guys were almost silent. He had past at least 3 or 4 boys who had eating disorders and the cafeteria was a nightmare because it was just a bunch of grumpy skeletal people pretending to eat. It made him feel awful so he tried to stay away from there. Now for different reasons than before. Jace sighed contentedly and pulled his knees up, hugging them to his chest, leaning back on the bench. It wasn't the most comfortable place on the earth but Jace liked it just the same. It was an easy place to think and reflect. - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - 302| number | sick hearts - the used | music | open | tags | none! | notes | Coming soon sorry!

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sick hearts - the used | lyrics |
holly @ caution 2.o | credit |[/size][/center][/color][/size][/color][/font][/center][/blockquote]
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[elyse k. nathans]

So after being here for a few days Elyse still had no clue what to think of it all. She was glad to be here she did know that. But she had not actually started working yet and really had not met anyone yet. Elyse decided to just go wonder around the grounds. It was that or unpack and Elyse hated unpacking so the walk was going to come first. Elyse pulled on a pair of shorts and a sweatshirt. A few years ago she would have never gone out in public in shorts because that would mean people could see her prosthetics but now it did not really bother her at all. Elyse grabbed her keys on her way out locking her apartment door behind her.

Elyse stopped taking in her surroundings and heading to the areas around the garden. She new there was a fountain over there since she had gone by it yesterday. As Elyse walked she let her mind wonder. She was glad that she had gone back to school. It had really helped her. She only had nightmares once a month and her flashbacks barely ever happened. Elyse knew her family noticed the changes in her. She even knew that she was slowly starting to find her old self.

Elyse looked around as she got to the fountain and noticed a boy sitting with his knees pulled up to his chest on a near by bench. Elyse thought for a moment and then walked towards the boy. She stopped near the bench and then in a some what soft voice so not to startle the boy she said " Hey there. Mind if I sit next to you?" Elyse hoped he would say she could sit down but who new what he would say.

[Jason L. Marshall]

[atrb=border,0,true][atrb=cellSpacing,0,true][atrb=cellPadding,0,true][atrb=width,500,true][atrb=background,http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v308/kickthecat/scenemid.png] [th][cs=3][rs=3][atrb=border,0,true][bg=000000] [ CALL ME A BOY TILL I'VE LEARNED,CALL ME THE BIRD OR THE WORM ] cause sick hearts do fine - - with wasting their time ( wasting time, wasting time) - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - Hey there. Mind if I sit next to you?" Jace looked up briefly, before turning his head away from here, eyes shifting to the ground. What he notices from the woman first and foremost that she was a lot older than the dark haired boy. She was probably the oldest patient that he has seen besides the doctors and orderlies. Second was that her legs were prosthetics. Both of them. While Jace was curious of them he also did understand why she was here. Why would they send an amputee here? Unless she had some other problem maybe? Ptsd from an accident or possibly she was just born without legs and she was depressed but she didn’t seem depressed. Her voice was quiet and calm, and lacked what a mentally ill persons would. The third thing he noticed was that she was extraordinarily pretty. But it seemed like everyone was here. He had been paying close attention to the people who walked the halls and they were all very attractive, yet that’s all Jace could find attractive about them. They all had less than likeable personalities. That didn’t go for everyone but in Jace’s mind it blanketed over into ‘everyone here sucks.’ Jace scuffled across the bench away from her still not looking up or saying anything. The guester could have been seen as intolerably rude or an invite for her to sit down next to him. He didn’t mean any of those things. He really just wanted to sit alone and figured that if she thought he was ignoring her, which he was, she would go away. That tactic had tended to work in the past for him so he continued by become suddenly very interested by his hands in his lap, making sure not to even glance up at her. - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - 270| number | sick hearts - the used | music | open | tags | none! | notes | Coming soon sorry!

[/url] | clothes|
sick hearts - the used | lyrics |
holly @ caution 2.o | credit |[/size][/center][/color][/size][/color][/font][/center][/blockquote]
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[elyse k. nathans]

Elyse watched the boy as he scooted to the end of the bench farthest a way from the end she was standing at. Elyse stood there for a moment thinking. The boy seemed like he wanted to be left alone more then anything. She had wanted that a lot before she had gone back to school. But Elyse sat down any way letting her gaze fall on to the boy occasionally but mostly taking in her surroundings. Elyse let the silence float in the air for a little while. She did not want to freak the boy out or make him upset or uncomfortable. Elyse let her gaze fall back on to the boy.

Elyse then again keeping her voice rather soft said" Im Elyse whats your name?" Elyse smiled at the boy for a second before looking back to the fountain. It was very nice out here. It was one of those places that you could lose time in. Where you seemed to be able to think about anything and everything. Elyse had always looked for those places especially as a kid. Being bounced from foster home to foster home made it hard to do though. But she had found her fare share of places like this. Elyse let her gaze wonder back to the boy. She kind of wondered why he was here. Evey one had there own stories and some people guarded them more than others that was just how life went. Elyse leaned back against the back of the bench still leaving her gaze on the boy.

[Jason L. Marshall]

[atrb=border,0,true][atrb=cellSpacing,0,true][atrb=cellPadding,0,true][atrb=width,500,true][atrb=background,http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v308/kickthecat/scenemid.png] [th][cs=3][rs=3][atrb=border,0,true][bg=000000] [ CALL ME A BOY TILL I'VE LEARNED,CALL ME THE BIRD OR THE WORM ] cause sick hearts do fine - - with wasting their time ( wasting time, wasting time) - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - She stood there for a couple moments before she sitting down next to him. He shifted uncomfortably, making sure to look at the ground. He was waiting for the onslaught of questions but they never came. It was a comfortable silence and Jace looked at her momentarily to see that she wasn’t staring at him. She was gazing at the fountain much the same way that he did. " Im Elyse whats your name?" The woman said then looking back at him and catching his eye. Her voice was soft again and friendly. Her eyes held no malevolence or spite. J-Jason He coughed slightly clearing his throat.But um I’d rather be called Jace and um yeah His back arched a bit as he turned to face her a little bit more towards her. Sowhathappened? Jace blurted out in a rush. He was referring to her obvious prosthetics. The younger boy didn’t mean to be rude but he was curious and had tact for haphazardly saying things without any of his brains consent. He stuttered in embarrassed after he realized how rude he had just been. Jace only liked be rude in the passive aggressive type way to people he didn’t like, and what he had said certainly wasn’t a sly dig. It hadn’t even meant to be one; it had just kind of slipped out. That wasn’t, I didn’t mean to- it just sorta- I never, I’m sorry I didn’t, sorry really sorry Jace choked out. The jumble of words barely made sense but he didn’t trust himself to try and speak again. He hoped she didn’t yell at him. He didn’t want her to yell. Crying would be even worse. Jace thought quickly about standing up an leaving before she had a chance to say anything but what if she followed him inside to berate him. He sat there paralyzed waiting for her to respond, his eyes no longer looking at her, his whole body facing away from Elyse.

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366| number |
hurt no one - the used | music |
open | tags |
none! | notes |
Coming soon sorry!

[/url] | clothes|
sick hearts - the used | lyrics |
holly @ caution 2.o | credit |[/size][/center][/color][/size][/color][/font][/center][/blockquote]
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[elyse k. nathans]

Elyse nodded as he said his name was Jason but he would rather be called Jace. Elyse was not at all surprised by his next question at all. The question was a very common one the question of what happened. She knew if she had been on the other side that would have been her first question too. It seemed like human nature to be curious when there was something unusual. Before Elyse could respond to Jace's question a jumble of words came out of his mouth in a hurry. Elyse was a little surprise as she watched the boy turn away from her.

Elyse was silent for a moment as she grouped her thoughts and then she said " Hey dont be sorry it was just a question. Trust me I get that question a lot and its no big deal. I was in an accident a long time ago when I was probably just a little older then you. I was in the army and a Humvee blew up. That was a while ago though." Elyse kept her voice calm and even watching Jace to see if what she said had helped him calm down a little. He seemed so shy and sckidish. The kind of person who could use a friend.

Elyse let her eyes float back to the fountain. She did not want to make him feel nervous or scared, Jace was after all the first person she had met here. After another moment Elyse brought her eyes back to jace and said, " so jace where are you from? Im from a lot of places but mostly Indiana" Elyse always tried to give an answer when she asked a question. She always though if she wanted to know some thing about some one they should know some thing about her as well.

[Jason L. Marshall]

[atrb=border,0,true][atrb=cellSpacing,0,true][atrb=cellPadding,0,true][atrb=width,500,true][atrb=background,http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v308/kickthecat/scenemid.png] [th][cs=3][rs=3][atrb=border,0,true][bg=000000] [ CALL ME A BOY TILL I'VE LEARNED,CALL ME THE BIRD OR THE WORM ] cause sick hearts do fine - - with wasting their time ( wasting time, wasting time) - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - There was a long quiet moment that potentially freak Jace out more than what he actually said did. She was going to explode at him or maybe even hit him. Jace wasn’t even sure if he would fight back, he would probably just take it considering he thought he deserved it. If she started crying he wouldn’t even know what to do. Maybe escape back to the library and make sure to avoid her for the rest of his natural life. The silence seemed to stretch on and he thought maybe she had just got up and left. Was he so idiotic that he wasn’t worth speaking to? Probably. Instead of any of those things, she reassured Jace that it was fine and not a big deal and that he legs were lost in an Humvee incident in the army. Jace came to the quick conclusion that Elyse was weird. Who in their right mind would join the army, and then have accepted the fact that they had lost their legs. What was such a kind, well-rounded person doing in the place like this. She talked freely of the accident so she couldn’t have had ptsd or depression. Her skin was clear, unlike a cutter. She was thin but not thin enough to be hospitalizing for it. Elyse hadn’t tried to steal Jace’s shiny gauges or his nose ring so it was a no to kleptomania. It could alcohol abuse but she wasn’t showing any withdraw signs that tended to be very obvious. No shaking, nothing. The women wasn’t gaunt like a cocaine addict or permantly stoned like a heavy weed user, nor did she have any puncture marks on her arms He didn’t understand, what was wrong with her. The idea that Jace was so far off the deep end that he couldn’t even tell how nutsy someone was anymore was shoved far back into his mind. He wasn’t crazy. He wasn’t crazy. " So Jace where are you from? I’m from a lot of places but mostly Indiana". Jace had never been to indianna but for what it was worth Jace never wanted to leave home anyways. New Jersey He hated thinking about home and how he was stuck here. Without his friends or his mother or anything that he valued. Instead he was locked up in one of the finest rehabilitation centers for teen. It didn’t matter how nice it was because it would never be home. So uh? What’s wrong with you ifyoudon’tmindmeasking Jace rushed the ending of the sentence, never making eye contact with her or any signal that he was even listening to her. He curled his slender body forward, in on himself, bringing his bony fingers up to his face as if to cover it from site

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443| number |
sick hearts - the used | music |
open | tags |
none! | notes |
Here! | clothes|
sick hearts - the used | lyrics |
holly @ caution 2.o | credit |

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[elyse k. nathans]

Elyse nodded a little bit as he said that he was from New Jersey. She had lived in foster homes there when she was a young teen just a little bit before she got adopted. She did not how ever remember a whole lot about it. Most of the places she had lived where just blurs of the past now and that was part of that blur. Elyse watched Jace as he asked what was wrong with her. It took a second for her to register what he was asking. He must be thinking that she it a patient here.

Elyse though for a moment as she watched jace leaned forward putting his hands up to his face. Elyse then said " Well im not a patient here. Im a new orderly I just have not started work yet since I just got here. I start tomorrow. But I do have my share of problems I use to have an alcohol problem but I have been sober for 5 years. " Elyse still spoke softly and calmly trying to see if his body language would change and he would calm down. He seemed so on edge like he was afraid of doing or saying some thing wrong

Elyse then said " Do you mind if I ask you why you are here. You dont have to tell be but im a curious person. If I start to ask to many questions just let me know cause I tend to ask alot of questions." Elyse looked back to the fountain but watched Jace out of the corner of her eye to see if his body language changed. Elyse wondered what was going on inside his head. She wondered why he was seemed so shy and afraid to say the wrong things.

[Jason L. Marshall]

[atrb=border,0,true][atrb=cellSpacing,0,true][atrb=cellPadding,0,true][atrb=width,500,true][atrb=background,http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v308/kickthecat/scenemid.png] [th][cs=3][rs=3][atrb=border,0,true][bg=000000] [ CALL ME A BOY TILL I'VE LEARNED,CALL ME THE BIRD OR THE WORM ] cause sick hearts do fine - - with wasting their time ( wasting time, wasting time) - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - Jace was surprised to learn that she wasn’t a patient here but it made sense. She was a new orderly and interestingly enough she had struggled with alcohol abuse. Now that he thought of it, he didn’t really know what an orderly was supposed to do. Were they like doctors? Jace didn’t know. They sort of sounded like security guards. The younger boy hadn’t run into any doctors or orderlies yet but he had been at the clinic for less than a week. Not to mention he tended to avoid them. So…what does an orderly do exactly? He figured they made sure no one did anything stupid and basic stuff like that but he knew nothing more. He thought about what would make you want to be an orderly in a place like this. It just seemed like such a hopeless and borderline sad establishment. Who wanted to take care of people teetering on the edge of sanity. It what was probably a long overdue assessment Jace decided that he kind of like the orderly. He was reassured by her status and knew that these were the people to trust. The people who made you better. And Jace surely wanted to get better. He was a little wary of her question but it was spoke kindly to him and she wasn’t at any point overbearing. I uh… He glanced at her feeling embarrassing. To her he was probably no more than a wailing helpless child. He didn’t mean to be so immature but he couldn’t help himself. Sometimes I um forget to eat but I don’t, I don’t mean to, it just happens. And I w-wish I could stop but I can’t. He wasn’t sure if that made him sound any better. It was mostly truth but wasn’t like that at first. It was formulated and researched and took up all his time. But now it was such habit that he didn’t even consider it anymore. He didn’t think he could eat more than 300 calories a day without throwing up since it had been so long. His fragile body wasn’t meant to hold up more than 95lbs in the first place. Jace didn’t want the headaches or the passing out that came with starvation but it was just accustomed to it. All of his problems were eminent through one physical manifestation or another. His protruding ribs and sharply angled hip bones that just barely held up his baggy sweatpants. One thing that was true though was that he did want to get better. Even when he was in doubt he knew that he wanted to get better.

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471| number |
sick hearts - the used | music |
open | tags |
none! | notes |
Here! | clothes|
sick hearts - the used | lyrics |
holly @ caution 2.o | credit |

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[elyse k. nathans]

Elyse smiled a little bit as he asked what an orderly did. She was kind of hoping him asking her a question met her felt more comfortable around her. Elyse thought for a moment biting her lip before she said " Well an orderly her is kind of like a nurse, giving meds and things like that. And also just watching out making sure no one does anything crazy that they are not suppose to do. One of my brothers when I got this job he said it kind of seemed like I was going to babysit."

Elyse smiled and watched the boy as he said that he some times forgot to eat and that he wished he could stop. Elyse watched him for a moment as she thought. She wondered if it was habit of some sort or maybe he said that because to him that was the truth. Elyse though for another moment before she said " Well thats why you are here. There are people that are here to help and I can promise you that Im not just saying that"

Elyse looked back towards the fountain again.She knew people could change she did. When she had started volunteering at the VA she had hated it. She was drunk or hung over over half the time. More like almost always. And when she was not drunk she was having panic attacks or flashbacks or just nightmares. Now she was never drunk. And she barely ever had panic attacks. The flashbacks only came if she was triggered and Elyse highly doubted that there would be a whole lot of cars that back fired out here or a whole lot of anything extremely loud other than people and people she could deal with.

Elyse looked back up at Jace bringing her thoughts away from cloud nine lala land and back to the real world. She thought for a moment before she said " So how long have you been here? And do you have anything you want to ask because it seems like I have been asking alt of questions."